When he wants to pick the petals and drop them to the floor,
and I decline a visit to my garden, I need to learn to not wilt
in guilt and cut them off.
I should take pride in photosynthesis, enjoy the sunlight
and ever hang onto stars that have fallen and burst like
a bath bomb in a dark tub.
I must figure out a way to coexist with my demons and never
let them haunt me as if they were a morbid house that follows,
open the windows and let them go.
Why I expect so much from others and hand out my heart
like Valentine clearance is something I can never figure out,
and to this day it’s on my sleeve.
The same sleeve that covers a secret only few have seen,
where the past has smoothed me down to a stone is another
thing that needs to be conquered.
As well as my fear to reveal my true self, the side of the moon
that could calm a raging sea and make it still and freeze the
monsters beneath crystal reflections.
But there are trivial subjects that should also be addressed,
such as my ability to stop with three shots and drown out the
surrounding commotion with dead water.
To dance and not feel ashamed, for the body is a temporary
structure that will one day be a skeleton planted in the ground
that needs to be expressed.
I must learn to master hands, their various positions and poses,
their callouses and softness, shaded by form and cast. They are
spiders need to be taught a lesson.
However, there is also the idea of having to experience everything
all at once that I need to tame, because it’s impossible and one
shouldn’t feel so broken by it’s inevitability.
Because another thing that needs to be known is everything
around me should be cherished, and one day it will be nothing
more than a forgotten moment.
And finally, above all things, I must learn to smile like I mean
it and feel happiness cover me entirely without the looming
cloud of death following behind.